TRAPEZIUS a novel by jöe sjölin

midway trough the day yesterday, my neck became stiff and sore, and i began to have trouble turning it even a quarter of the way without it feeling really painful. as the evening wore on, i had less and less mobility, even after taking a muscle relaxer given me by the friendly neighborhood apothecary. i went to bed hoping for some relief by the time i woke up.

as i reached to shut off the alarm this morning, i had to stop myself from hollering out in pain. it was even worse when i tried to sit up, spreading through my entire back, and taking my breath away. i finally was able to reach my cell phone and call those i work with to let them know of my plight, and that i would be useless if i tried to join them today. this diagram helps demonstrate the most affected area: the trapezius regions [yes, both of them]. i started thinking back to when/ how i must have done this, and realized that, on tuesday, we were stapling 4'x8' sheets of plywood above our heads, and having to hold them using whatever means available. at times, i was supporting my end with the top of my head when i needed a hand free. i have learned a valuable lesson. if you know anyone who has a spare trapezius or two, remember me to them.

i was also thinking during my last couple days as a carpenter, that this is the first job i have had in a very long time in which i cannot operate out of an intuitive mindset. i can't just go along and respond in a given situation based on a gut feeling, or use relational tactics to address problems. wood and nails are not willing to engage me on that level. this is very concrete work, with very specific rules and steps that must be followed to get the desired result. i am both excited, and newly struck with the amount of learning i have before me. i look forward to more, sans any further neck injuries.

i finally reached a point this week where i feel like me is coming back. for so many months i felt so overwhelmed, stretched too thin, and burned out. i even started to feel that way about my internship, which i really enjoy. after quiting my hopeless job, things did not get better right away. even during the time between jobs, i felt like anytime i had something i needed to to, it was this oppressive/ invasive thing that was asking more of me than i had to give. finally, i feel like i'm at least back to zero and out of the red in terms of emotional bankruptcy. i feel like i am going to meet the challenges and demands of life instead of desperately trying to keep up. everything is becoming more enjoyable again. i had one of those i'm a kickass therapist nights last night. life is good.

we also had shiny rehearsal last night. jenn has more photos up for your viewing pleasure, and hopefully soon we will have a myspace site up for others to listen to our musical prowess.