remorse
master splinter of teenage mutant ninja turtles fame
did you ever have a sudden, uncontrollable, and profoundly unsettling flashback of something really embarassing you did as a kid [or yesterday]? well, as you may have guessed, i had one such experience this very evening while watching a cartoon. as much as it pains me to reveal this, i must. you know, since we agreed to 'no secrets', & 'complete honesty' in our last DTR. well, here goes; after watching ninja turtles the movie [when i was about 8 or 9] i felt compelled to try and meditate like they did in the movie, when they saw cool visions and stuff. the only problem was that i chose to do it at school during recess on the playground. yes, i sat, lotus style, eyes closed, on the slab pretending to be meditating [i even quietly hummed]. my goal was twofold; first, as i mentioned above, i wanted to experience the astral world, second, i thought i would look & be very cool. as you can imagine, i spent a great deal of time alone as a kid...
posted by jöe at 9:57 PM
2 Comments:
i was sitting in gym class in 1st grade. we had to sit in lines by class - there were four 1st grade classes, thus four lines of kids. i was in the middle of the line, sitting on the rubberized gym floor. and i farted. man it was loud. it rang out from the rafters and the concrete walls. luckily, the ginormous size of the gym disguised the exact location of the epicenter of The Great Fart of 1988, leaving everyone looking around at each other. kids laughed, even the gym teachers began to laugh once they realized what happened. and no one knew it was me. until now.
i like this game of share your embarrasment childhood moments.
in about the 4th grade i pooped my pants on the way to the bathroom. in my absolute embarrasment, i decide the only way to conceal my secret was to take off my soiled whitey-tighties and take them to the outside dumpster. i wrap the stinkey drawers in paper towels and begin my trek outside, and about 15 feet from the door, the principal comes walking the other way, sees me trying to conceal something, and forces me to explain what exactly i'm doing. i'm sure the secretaries all got a good laugh about it later.
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