massive meat

so you may have gotten a text about this from me yesterday... some of you responded:

"penis -- $3.99"

"No thanks, i already have massive meat" [current winner]

"selling yourself again, huh joe? all those false promises are gonna come back to haunt you"

"ooh, what are the delivery options?!" [honorable mention]

"so we should probably head over there and see what we get offered, huh?"

please feel free to add your witty/ grody submissions to the comments section. the winner will receive eternal glory & lots of chicks.

the winner will actually receive NOTHING.

nerd city

a tribute to wesley willis, by J Logan

i would like to take this opportunity to introduce Nerd City to those who have not already heard. it is basically a [dare i say] 'zine on the internets geared toward the shared interests of nerddom. the column categories are; don't bother me, i'm thinking, escaping life, life in space, spotlight on technology, & sydney brown's sixty seconds. so far the topics have ranged from semi-obituary pieces on wesley willis & don knotts, to cgi's impact on movies, to star trek, to video game reviews, & yes, even to social commentary. it seems to be on a bi-monthly distribution schedule currently, & is very accessible, even to the uninitiated. the guys behind this project are all devotess to their respective areas of interest, & each bring something special to the table. i highly recommend jumping on board now, while you are only 3 issues behind. catching up by reading everything straight through only took me about half an hour the other night. definitely worth the time.

nerd city, you might not regret it!!!

everything all the time = nothing at all, ever

Band of Horses is soon to release their first full-length on sub-pop [March 21] but, even better, they have decided to grace our fair city tuesday next [14]. they are playing at the conservatory with rogue wave & others.... doors @ 7:00. i got to hear them with iron & wine in lawrence last april, & they were probably the best opening act i have ever heard. it was an unexpected little gift that night. anyway, clear your schedule & make time for this one, because they'll probably be big enough soon that they won't come back here for a good long while. all that has been available for listening [until now] has been a couple of random songs on their website, & a live demo ep... here is the re-recorded version of my favorite song [to date] of theirs from the new full-length.

{postscript}

i showed up at the conservatory around 8:15 hoping to have missed some of the other bands that i didn't care to see/ hear. it was eerily quiet as i approached, but there were a few people milling around outside so i continued confidently. as i was paying & getting my wristband i asked the guy at the front when everything was supposed to start, because i could hear someone doing a soundcheck, but no roar of fans anticipating musical bliss, etc. the place was ghosttown. then he uttered the words that effectively ruined [pronounced: roon'd] my evening. "we had a band drop out of the line up", [please don't say band of horses, please don't say band of horses!] "BAND OF HORSES got in a wreck & couldn't make it in. they are ok, just minor damage, but their van couldn't make it. i think they'll still be in austin for sxsw..." luckily, though i had stopped listening, i'm sure he could see the disappointment on my face & was more than willing to give my money back. but he could never replace the loss i felt that night....

i consoled myself by pre-ordering the album so as to avoid further heartbreak.